Bodhidarma Frightens Emperor Wu
Find your ego, I will kill it
Bodhidharma was asked by Emperor Wu, “I am very much disturbed by my ego, by this self. And I have tried everything, but I cannot get rid of it. Help me!” Bodhidharma said, “Come early in the morning tomorrow, three o’clock in the morning. And come alone, and don’t forget to bring your self with you — and I will finish it forever.” The emperor was afraid. This man looked mad. “How can anybody finish the self? And what does he mean when he says, ‘Don’t forget to bring it’?”
The whole night he could not sleep, tossed and turned. Many times he decided not to go, and he had said, “Come alone” — and he was a very dangerous looking man. In China he was known as the Barbarian Buddha. He had very dangerous eyes. If he looked into your eyes, then for months you would not be able to sleep. And he looked murderous — and he WAS a murderer. He murdered many disciples. Many people became enlightened through him. And he was really a hard taskmaster.
Three o’clock, in the dark, alone, to be with this man… and one never knows — he was unpredictable. When he had entered China, he had come with one shoe on one foot, the other shoe on his head. The emperor was puzzled and he said, “What are you doing?”
He said, “I am trying to show you — this is the way I am. Just to give you a taste of what type of man I am, so you know from the very beginning with whom you are dealing.” Now, to go to this man in his mountain cave in the dark…. M any times he decided not to go, but the attraction was also great — because this man was no ordinary man. Yes, on the surface he looked very hard, but deep down there was the kindest heart possible. He was all compassion. Even if he was hard, it was because of his compassion.
Finally, he had to go. And the moment he reached in front of Bodhidharma… he was sitting there with his staff, and he said, “You have come?.Where is your ego? Where is your self? Have you brought it with you? I am going to finish it forever.”
The emperor said, “What are you talking about? Is the self a thing that I can bring with me?” Bodhidharma said, “Then what is it?” The emperor said, “Of course, it is something inside.” Bodhidharma said, “Okay, inside or outside, it makes no difference. My staff can reach anywhere! You just sit in front of me, close your eyes, and try to find it. And the moment you have found it, just tell me that ‘I have found,’ and I will kill it.”
Look inside and find it!
Shaking and trembling, the emperor sat before Bodhidharma. Hours passed. The sun started rising. He looked and looked… he had to look! because this man was sitting there with his staff. He could hit hard. And by the morning when the sun was rising, he was totally a different man. Bodhidharma said, “Now you can open your eyes. Where is it? For three hours you have been looking.”
The emperor touched Bodhidharma’s feet and said, “I cannot find it. I looked hard — I have never looked so hard. Your presence made me look hard. I searched with all my energy possible. I was not holding anything back, but I did not find it.” And Bodhidharma laughed and he said, “So you see? I have finished it forever.”
The ego is not
It is not! When you don’t look it is. When you look, it is not. Go in… and you will not find any ego, any self, anything. What you will find is eternal, infinite life, and then there is really respect for it. But it has nothing to do with you or me — it is reverence for life.
Osho, excerpts from The Perfect Master Vol. 2 #4
Osho book recommendations on masters of meditation
The Buddha Said…: Meeting the Challenge of Life’s Difficulties
Discover the Buddha: 53 Meditations to Meet the Buddha Within
When the Shoe Fits: Stories of the Taoist Mystic Chuang Tzu
No Water No Moon: Talks on Zen Stories
